Birthday in Review (Extended)

On this day three years ago, we were all still at loose ends--literally and figuratively. Separated out of necessity and still reeling from Bridget's diagnosis, we each tried to make heads or tails of what had happened to our "normal" life. We were moving slowly and without much sense of direction.

Bridget was in a hospital, on a ventilator, recovering from surgery to repair an abdominal wall malformation. Her bassinet at home sat empty for too many days.

It was a time of distinct contrast. We were celebrating new life and at the same time were sad for the way we were feeling. We loved our new baby and were fearful for her future. We were elated and exhausted, hopeful and hurting.

I've said so many times before how I wish we could have known, how I hope other new parents can visit here and see how far we've come, how much Bridget has added to our lives.

Sometimes I wish there was a streaming video component to this blog, so others could see how much laughter and light and love she brings to our household.

The other kids adore her without reservation and delight in her every move. Chris and I couldn't be more proud of Bridget, or more grateful for her presence in our lives. She gives us reason, daily, to pause, to think, to smile.

Bridget woke up (too) early on her birthday. I went to get her as soon as she started to stir and pulled her into bed with me. I whispered Happy Birthday my sweet girl, then turned over on my side wishing she would fall back asleep.

Too awake, she sat up in the middle of the bed, then scooted even closer to me. She reached over, brushed my hair away from my eyes and gently kissed my cheek. She sat there, with her little body draped over my shoulder, her face snug against mine, until I started to giggle. The giggles quickly turned to full-blown tears and laughter a little too loud for that early in morning.

My three-year-old lovebug, silly girl, cutie pie, smarty pants, perfect, youngest daughter. What would I do without you?