Five

It's been five years today since this little girl arrived in our lives:

Each year it becomes more clear that Bridget's arrival (more to the point:  Bridget's Down syndrome diagnosis) brought fear and anxiety that was unwarranted.  Each year, it becomes more and more evident that we wasted time and energy feeling uncertain when we should have been celebrating.  

This little girl is so worth celebrating!

Bridget, you are everything I could ever have imagined, and more.  From every angle, and every vantage point, you are precious.  Your joy is contagious.  Your light is undeniable.  How lucky we are to love you!  Happy Birthday, my beautiful, sweet girl!

Please Say Yes

Olga 

Is there room in your heart or home for one more?  Just look at these little loves.  Both of these beautiful, able little girls are in dire need of homes.

Olga is due for transfer very soon, and she has a HUGE grant...$12,549 already raised for her adoption. Kareen already has $3,276 in her fund.  This grant money will go directly toward the adoption costs for each girl, to be used by the families who commit to bring them home.

Don't wait any longer. Please, if you are considering adoption, choose today to commit. Say yes today.

Contact Andrea at Reece's Rainbow for more information.

Kareen

Changes

Lost

Found

Living in the Light, Explained

When we merged Bridget's Light and Loving Alina, there was little question whether our new blog title would include the word light.  Our whole story revolves around it.

We couldn't have predicted how Bridget's arrival would change us, would enrich us.  Or how Bridget's light would lead us to Alina--and how Alina herself would further enrich us.  But it did, and they did.  Bridget and Alina have brought a special warmth and clarity to our family that we didn't know we were missing.  

With open eyes and open hearts, we now live a new truth.  We are keenly aware that all people are the same within.  Though none of us is "perfect", we are all perfectly made. 

We all have challenges...and gifts.  And each one of us adds to the whole.  Our youngest girls add in so many ways.  Above all, they've multiplied the goodness in our lives...in spades.

We've gained perspective--we see Life through a new lens.  We waste little time worrying about the superficial, and our home is filled with laughter and warmth.  Our two littlest girls are a huge part of that--they shine.

Things aren't always easy, or sparkly, at our house.  We're not exceptionally virtuous, though we try our best to live right and to be grateful for each day.  We're living an ordinary life, but we're aware, joyful and appreciative.  

We are Living in the Light.

 

These two little girls have blessed us beyond belief.  They're vibrant, beautiful people who are so very loved and enjoyed.

Please join us as our family story continues to unfold.  Day or night, you are welcome to come visit here.  Come laugh with us and learn with us, and be empowered.

There's a whole lot of darkness out there.  Let the light in...

Love, Lisa

*Alina was named by her birth parents...her name means light.

Common Threads, Namesakes & Blessings

“The Red Thread” is a Chinese proverb which says that the people who are meant to know one another in this life are connected by an invisible thread. The thread may twist and tangle, but it will never break.  It is not affected by time, place or circumstance. Those connected by it will find each other, one way or another.

It is impossible to predict which people and circumstances will be significant in our lives and which will pass quickly through. 

Sitting across from Sara's third grade teacher at fall conferences six years ago, I had no idea that one day Sara and I together would lead her to her daughter. 

The following is a fairly long post, but it tells a story you will want to hear--of the "red thread" which connects Sara and I (and Bridget and Alina, as well as a few other people you may know) to Sara's teacher and her family. 

This is a story of love and light, of faith and fate, of hope and fulfillment of destiny.  It is a story about taking chances, giving thanks for blessings, and making a difference.

* * *

Fifteen years ago on this day, October 22, 1995, we welcomed a precious little girl into our lives.  (We were--and still are--such proud parents.)

Sara is the oldest of our six children.  She is wise beyond her years and has the kindest heart.  She's my right arm, helping wherever and whenever I need it.

Sara has always adored Bridget, and even though she was only ten when Bridget was born, she saw "the bigger picture" very quickly--that people with Down syndrome are people first.  She was excited about life with her new little sister and envisioned the wonderful relationship they now share.

When we discovered Reece's Rainbow Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry (RR) last December, Sara was deeply moved.  She saw beauty and potential in the waiting children.  I remember her talking about all the ways Bridget has added to our lives, and about how much it hurt to think of all of the children who are without homes simply because they were born with Down syndrome. 

I told her we would do whatever we could to help the children on RR.  Sara is often my sounding board, and I confided in her that I was going to talk to her dad about saving Alina.  She was in.  Immediately.



Fast forward to one day in early June, after Alina was already home.  I was going through the waiting child listings on RR, and came across a picture of this little girl (right), which stopped me in my tracks. How had I never noticed her before?  She grabbed my attention, and my heart.  And her birthday was the same day as Sara's.  I felt myself starting to ask the question...Is there any way...?

I sat down and wrote about her here, with the hopes that she would capture the heart of a family who was in a better postition to go get her and bring her home. 

Little did we know, there was a family--a family we knew--who was looking to make a difference in the world, and whose hearts were being moved toward adopting a child with Down syndrome. 

Right before school started, I received an email from Sara's third grade teacher, Shelly Archer.  The message came as a surprise, as we had only crossed paths and exchanged hellos in the halls at school from time to time since Sara was in her class.  But she'd heard about Bridget's diagnosis four years ago, and had also heard of our decision to adopt Alina.  It was her family who had been talking about ways to give back.

The Archer's had discovered Reece's Rainbow through Loving Alina.  They began reading Bridget's blog and several other blogs from our blogrolls, and had learned all about Down syndrome and the plight of orphans with Ds in Eastern Europe.  Like us, Shelly and Andy had not been planning on adding to their family.  But also like us, they felt the pull towards adoption.

I'll let Shelly's post fill in all the details, but the short version is that the Archer Family is bringing home the beautiful little girl with the brown eyes in the pink dress :), so she will be living in our community.  And they will be naming her...Sarah. 

There is so much significance in the name they chose for their little girl--it brings me to tears any time I think about it.  Our Sara and Sarah Ely (a young adult with Ds who blogs about her life and also lives in Ohio) were instrumental in the Archer's decision to bring their daughter home.  Shelly and Andy also followed Sarah B's blog (Angel Eyes, about adopting Zoya). 

Sara, Bridget and I met Joyce and Sarah Ely last March.  At the time, none of us had any idea that--together--we'd inspire another adoption. I'm smiling thinking of the five of us (Bridget, Sara, me, Joyce & Sarah) talking and laughing & enjoying the moment, yet having no clue that we would play a huge role in saving the life of another child with Down syndrome. 

Sarah and Shawn B. were in Ukraine to get Zoya at the same time we were there to get Alina.  We almost connected in Kiev, but the volcano threw things off.  We ended up coming home the day after they came home. 

There is a common thread that connects all of our families.

Beyond the name Sara(h), there are so many meaningful connections.

There are blessings beyond belief.

Happy Birthday TODAY to Sara & Sarah (and some other very special people: Pops, Uncle Sid and my dear friend Sally--whose given name is...Sarah!)

Flashback

There is a specific reason this story is posted today.  Check back tomorrow to learn the significance...

A Regular Baby (Bridget’s Arrival)

Written by big sister Sara on her 11th birthday (10.22.07)

Bridget looked just like a regular baby. She didn’t look any different than I thought she would. She was really beautiful and sweet, but I was worried about her health and what her life would be like. I was sad about all the things she might not be able to do. When I first saw her, I remember exploding into tears. I don’t know exactly why—I just did. I felt a mix of emotions. I was excited that she was born, but I was also a little disappointed. I was just hoping for a regular baby that we could take home in a couple of days.

I’m 11 and the oldest of five now that Bridget is here. I thought our family was big enough already with my two little brothers and one sister. When my mom told me she was pregnant with number five, I cried. I was happy—and surprised—and a little worried about the added responsibility of having another younger sibling. I had no idea how all of our lives would change the day she was born.

We were all supposed to wear pink t-shirts to the hospital to meet our new baby sister. But, she was almost six weeks early and the shirts we ordered had not arrived yet. My dad came to pick us up, and we had to hurry because Bridget needed surgery and was being moved to a different hospital. When we got there, I could tell my mom had been crying. She said Bridget would be fine, but that there was something other than the surgery that we needed to know about. “Bridget has Down syndrome,” she said quietly. We talked about what that meant as a family for only a few minutes before the nurses brought our new baby sister to see us.

As I looked at her, I felt sad that she couldn’t come home with us. I didn’t like seeing her in that plastic bed with all the tubes and wires attached to her. I wondered how long she would be in the hospital and what life would be like once she came home. I did not know what to expect.

After her surgery, I spent many hours at the hospital with Bridget. As I got to know her, I discovered that my baby sister was just a regular baby after all.

I realized that she was absolutely perfect. She was warm and soft and she smelled sweet. She even looked a lot like I did when I was a baby. I ached when I had to leave without her. I slept with clothes she had worn that we brought home to wash. I couldn’t wait to have her home with the rest of us.

We had all been so sad when Bridget was born needing surgery. And then there was the Down syndrome part. I didn’t know when we would be happy again, or if we would even be celebrating her birth. But, when she was finally able to leave the hospital--after a month-long stay--our whole family walked around her hospital floor like we were in a parade. My mom carried Bridget. We were all smiling and waving and proudly wearing our pink t-shirts. The nurses were clapping. It was a great celebration.

I know now that you can’t just hear an explanation of Down syndrome, or go on the computer and research it. The way to learn about Down Syndrome is to know someone with it.

Before Bridget was born, I never thought much about people with disabilities. I didn’t really pay attention. Now, when I see people with handicaps or disabilities, I pay more attention. I know they sometimes have to try harder to do the things most of us take for granted. I see people with disabilities as regular people who are just trying to learn and to enjoy life like everyone else--and I think of the families that love them.

To me, Bridget is the most beautiful baby in the world. She’s adorable and funny and she likes for me to hold her against my chest. I know she loves me because she smiles at me. I feel like we are going to be really close. I think Bridget was made especially for our family. She’s like a puzzle piece that fits perfectly and makes us complete. We didn’t know it, but we were waiting for her all along.

Darkness and Light, Revisited

I will love the light for it shows me the way.

Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

~Og Mandino

It is hard not to be hopeful when you've "seen the light"--when you have learned that the darkest moments illuminate.

I've covered it before on this blog, how we came through the darkness of early diagnosis into the light...Bridget's Light, Alina's Hope...

When Bridget was born and I was in the phase of trying to figure it all out, I was unsure of many things. I felt off-balance, and a little scared. I spent the first 24 hours after Bridget's birth without her. She needed surgery and was taken to another hospital. I don't like thinking about that first day, there was so much sadness.

But an epiphany came despite the darkness--or more likely, because of it. I can tell you the moment it all started to swing, the moment I felt awe instead of fear about our new life with Bridget. She was sleeping peacefully, recovering from her surgery. Chris and I were standing together, studying her, completely absorbed in her and in that moment. We'd been so quiet following her birth, not knowing how to console each other or how to sort it all out. I've said it before, how it occurred to us at the same time, how we looked at each other and smiled. We had the same realization at the same time:  Bridget is ours, she is whole and she is perfect. There are no mistakes, we are all perfectly made.

We are all perfect and imperfect at the same time. Bridget has given us the gift of seeing both our own potential and our own limits, and of seeing people without distinction by side-stepping artificial boundaries which separate and belittle. She's given us a lesson in reverence, in understanding that there is something greater while celebrating the life that is ours.

From the Heart

When I asked the kids to sit down and write a post for Down Syndrome Awareness Month, I had a feeling they would do so willingly.  What they each have written has come straight from their hearts (and heads), with no editing. 

Last year, to help get them started, I asked the kids to name three words to describe Bridget.  I asked them share details about Bridget, and how they felt about having her as a sister.  And we went in order, youngest to oldest--Emmy, Brian, Kyle, Sara.

This year, the kids chose the day they wanted to sit down and write.  They were asked to write on a topic of their choice, about either or both of their sisters--something which would offer readers a glimpse into our lives and how we feel about Bridget and Alina.

If you had a chance to talk to them at length about their sisters, you'd hear lots of funny stories and all about how their friends think their little sisters are "cool".  You'd hear about the little moments that make up our daily life, and about some bigger moments with much wider significance.

They have grown up loving and valuing their sisters with Down syndrome.  They've seen that Bridget and Alina are more like any other person than they are different, and just the same in the most important ways...

The Missing Piece, by Brian

Bridget and Alina have changed a lot since the spring when we brought Alina home. Alina has been changing, like her laugh when we first met her was bland and did not express her self.   But with a little bit of love, it has changed.  It is full of feeling and full of joy.  She's been given a second chance.  It was our destiny to adopt her.  And now Bridget has a buddy.  The empty spot in her life has filled in.  She has someone she can relate to, grow up with and love.

Loved and Wanted, by Sara

This past December, when my family committed to bringing home Alina, I understood that there were many unknowns, but I was all for it nonetheless. I saw all of the potential in her and the need for love in her eyes.  During the whole adoption process, I was eager to meet my newest sibling. Being the oldest, I had already witnessed the arrival of four children into our family. Alina's arrival into our lives was different, yet felt much the same.

When Bridget was born four years ago with Down syndrome, we were unsure of what her diagnosis would mean for her and the rest of us.  The first few weeks with Bridget were scary and filled with uncertainty, but we quickly realized that Bridget was perfect.  The fact that we were willing to travel half way around the world to get another child with Down syndrome shows how much we love and value Bridget.

From December until April, I thought about Alina every day. All we had was a picture of a little bald baby with sad eyes, who needed a family--who needed our family. Once she and my parents came home, I was ecstatic. I saw a little girl that was full of energy, had beautiful blue eyes, and was adjusting to our family wonderfully. Alina was letting us give her hugs and kisses. She was finally ours.

In the past six months, Alina has melded into our family like she has always been here and has always been one of us. Alina and Bridget are the dynamic duo, completely inseparable. Sometimes I will glance over to wherever they are, whether it be the family room or the back of the car, and see them happily holding hands and grinning.

I have realized in moments like these that I am so proud to be an older sister to these two amazing little girls. They have slammed down any preconceived notions that my friends, family, or even I have had about Down syndrome. They have inspired many with their love and vigor for life. They have helped me to realize that the seemingly 'imperfect' parts of life can really be the best of them all.

Each day comes bearing its own gifts.

Untie the ribbons.

~ Ruth Ann Schabacker

Please Come Visit

...our new blog:  LIVING IN THE LIGHT

First Week of Preschool Re-cap

From the preschool teacher:

The girls are doing GREAT! Both of them have really surprised me. Bridget is such a different little girl than she was last fall - following directions, using her words, I can even have a conversation with her... I LOVE IT! Alina has adjusted so well, too. She is a bright little girl. I am amazed by how well she seems to understand and follow directions. She LOVES circle time and is very attentive to what is happening in front of her. All in all, they are off to a great start! The girls had a WONDERFUL week - you would be so proud of both of them! You are more than welcome to pop in any time or even just watch through the window. They are doing great things!

An Orphan No More (Loving Alina)

From LOST to LOVED, watch the transformation in our beautiful Alina in just four short months...

A Choice?

Last December, when Chris and I told the kids about Alina and her need for a home, they were shocked that her parents were willing to "give her away"--in particular because they are aware of the stereotypes about Down syndrome and how Bridget defies them.

Chris and I did not truly understand, until we traveled, that people with disabilities do not have a place in the world in Eastern Europe. Scratch that. They do have a place--and unfortunately, it is behind a closed door. There is no support for parents wanting to raise children with special needs, and society does not condone raising them in public.

I am not making a value judgment. Twenty-five years ago, it was the same situation in the United States.

When we had court, we heard details about Alina's parents--their names, their address--that they were married when she was born and that they are still together. We saw their signatures on the abandonment decree they signed in the presence of a notary when Alina was two months old (per Ukrainian law--they had left her at the hospital when she was two days old, but waited until the last minute to sign, after blood tests came back confirming that she did have Down syndrome).

I sobbed in the quiet of the court room as we heard details about them.

Alina's full name was absolutely beautiful. Her middle name was the female version of her dad's name.

Her parents were both in their mid-twenties when they had her, and her mom had two miscarriages before Alina was born (full term, weighing about 7 lbs and measuring 22 inches).

They wanted her. They did. We are sure of it. I should clarify. We are sure they wanted her before they knew she had Down syndrome. We have no idea how they felt when they found out--but it meant that they could not keep the baby they had wanted--and we can guess that they were devastated.

We ache for them. As a mom, I can only imagine the pain her birth mom feels having her gone. Even if she was able to rationalize the decision to release Alina for adoption, and even if she would never want to raise a child with Ds, her mom has to feel the physical absence of her daughter.

And she has to wonder what happened to her little girl.

We look at Alina and we see a child who is so worthy of love, who would have surprised and elated her parents on a daily basis. We see a little girl who would have made a great big sister, a great daughter, a great grand-daughter.

We have to assume that her mom and dad would have been as blown away with her as we are...

Life at Home Since Alina's Arrival: Thoughts from Her Siblings

Emmy, almost 8

What is it like having a new sister?

I'm glad to have a new roommate in my room! It was lonely when I was by myself before Bridget was born. Then once she was there, it was better, but there was still space. It is more crowded, but now it's like a big party in our room :)!

It is exciting having a new sister because we had never seen her before. We had no idea what she would look like and be like.

Tell me about Alina...

Well, she's playful, sweet and loving...and a big eater! She does things that a lot of little kids might not know how to do, like dressing herself and pretending to pour tea into a cup. She just knows a lot. She's my sister and I love her.


Brian, 11

What do you think about having a new sister? What is it like having her here with us?

It's fun and exciting to see the new stuff that she does (like exploring, showing her imagination). It's sort of crazy times two--with Bridget--and a lot more humor.

What is good about Alina?

How much she knows right now, how fun and cute she is to play with.

Have things changed at home since we added another child?

Nope, not really :).


Kyle, 13

Tell me what you think about having Alina home...

It's awesome. She's cool and she's funny and she's sweet. And it's good to know that we saved someone's life. It's good to share {with others} that people with Down syndrome should get a chance. And Bridget has a buddy now.

What has been hard about the adoption?

It was hard that my parents had to leave and be gone from us, but it all paid off. I don't see a downside {to adoption}.


Sara, 14

What is it like now that Alina is finally here?

Having her home has been really smooth. It's like she fit in right where she was supposed to. Having her here didn't completely change our schedule. And it is a really good thing for her. She really needed us.

How do you think she has changed since she's been here?

In the beginning, she seemed unsure in her new environment but she's adapted to us really quickly--and in this short amount of time she's a part of our family.

What do you enjoy about Alina?

I love her smile and her laugh. Some people give a half-hearted smile or laugh. But she doesn't waste them. Every time, she means it.

Alina & Bridget

Many people have asked how the two little girls in our family are adjusting to each other--and how they interact. So here it is, a post devoted to our dynamic duo :)...

Sisters:



Bridget and Alina went from not knowing each other to doing everything together. For a three year old, that has to be confusing--and for two little girls who have been forced into a forever partnership overnight, they are doing exactly what we had expected--and hoped for. They are busy being kids, and in the process are learning about being sisters.

When we first brought Alina home, the two girls were very much in their own individual worlds. They played side-by-side, rather than together, were sometimes amused by the presence of the other and sometimes seemed to be simply tolerating each other.

Within the span of one week, they were already beginning to expect (and enjoy) that they would both be doing whatever we were doing, that they would both be going wherever we were going.

Surprisingly, there has been very little jealousy, if any.

We've had our moments, as you would expect, when one of them takes a toy, pulls hair or pushes the other. We have our squabbles that would be typical of any toddlers permanently inhabiting the same spaces, playing with shared items, interested in getting help and attention from the same people. And yes, that mop has been used as a weapon--by both girls.

But our two youngest girls are working it out.

Bridget has figured out that Alina (while she usually means well), is rough. She tends to take a wide arc around her little sister and gives Alina the Heisman when she needs to get by her. She has been saying, Nee-yet, Nuh-Nuh! (No, Alina!), which is very funny to hear. (She is also often overheard saying, Nuh-Nuh, CUTE!)

Bridget and Alina take care of each other. If one is out of Cheerios or crackers, the other will usually share willingly. They point to each other's empty bowls. They offer each other sips from a cup and wipe each other's noses. Bridget has a delicate touch, and Alina seems happy to be "helped" by her. Alina, on the other hand, comes at Bridget with an intense expression, and Bridget looks stunned as Alina firmly presses a sippy cup to her lips or wipes her nose with vigor.

But Alina coughs and Bridget shouts, CUP! Okay? If Bridget wakes up before Alina, she tells me, Mommy, Nuh-Nuh...check! (check on Alina!).

And when Bridget is in school and Alina goes somewhere with me in the car, she points to Bridget's carseat, saying Buh? (where's Bridget?).

When they are playing with each other, Bridget and Alina like to take care of baby dolls, spread out a napkin and dishes on the family room floor, and "clean" house :).


They are double trouble, for sure :). They're also double the LOVE.




Up next: Notes from our family discussion on Alina and answers to questions about Alina's transition and assimilation process.

ALL ABOUT ALINA

We have enjoyed getting to know Alina over the past six weeks! Here is what we have learned about our newest little girl:

Alina is self-assured, adaptable and good-natured. She is curious and active, with definite ideas and seemingly boundless energy.

She is alert—and very observant. She smiles and laughs easily. She’s interested in people and enjoys social interaction. She likes to give “fist bumps,” and “fives” and “high one’s” (with her index finger). She waves at every. single. person. she sees at the grocery store.

Alina likes to try to do things for herself. We believe she began walking just over 6 months ago, so she is still really a “toddler” and can be wobbly at times. That does not stop her from trying anything. She does not hold back—she’s on a mission, and does literally everything with purpose.

Alina is very sharp--she is a quick study. She understands how to play with toys (which buttons to push, how they work). She is a little Houdini, and has figured out how to get out of her crib and how to take her Onesies off by slipping them over her shoulders and down. (Notice the ribbon tie on the picture above...it works! For now.) Chris keeps saying, Don't show Alina how you did that! (unhooking a safety latch on the cabinet, or getting her out of the harness on her carseat, for example). She watches once, and it is over :).

Alina is an interesting mixture of active and content. As seen in the last post, she plays with gusto. She works hard at playing. She plays for long periods of time (by herself or with others), and has a very good attention span (if, of course, the object or activity is something she is interested in!).

Like most children, she likes to be praised and does not like to be scolded.

Alina is expressive. (Who knew, from her profile pictures??)

She enjoys: eating, books, phones, pretend play (baby dolls, cleaning, kitchen), things she can carry (purses, bags and buckets), and playing “dress up” (i.e., dressing and undressing).

Her speech is delayed (though we are not sure exactly how much since her native language is Russian!), but her total communication is quite good. She not only understands much of what we ask of her in English, but she is also beginning to communicate some of her wants and needs using a variety of strategies (facial expressions, sounds, gestures, signs). She is beginning to repeat sounds for us as well.

Since Alina has been home, she has learned to say: book, more (“muh”), cup (“puh”), mama, hi, and “Buh!” for Bridget.

She is signing: more, apple, gentle, sad, and cup. She waves “hi” and “bye-bye”.


Alina keeps us running...and smiling...and giving thanks on an hourly basis.

She is a delightful child, who is so full of life and potential. She is a wonderful daughter...

...and we feel lucky to be able to call her our own...


Up next: Alina & Bridget--how they are adjusting and NEW PICS :)

Video--Gotcha Day

While we were in Ukraine, Chris took several short videos with his Blackberry.

I hope to share more of our trip, of what we did and saw while we were there. But as I was looking over the videos Chris uploaded onto my computer last night, the following seems like a good place to start, even though it is not at the beginning of our trip.

It is the beginning of Alina's new life.

The day we took Alina out of the orphanage...forever:

Video--Gotcha Day

While we were in Ukraine, Chris took several short videos with his Blackberry.

I hope to share more of our trip, of what we did and saw while we were there. But as I was looking over the videos Chris uploaded onto my computer last night, the following seems like a good place to start, even though it is not at the beginning of our trip.

It is the beginning of Alina's new life.

The day we took Alina out of the orphanage...forever: