Funny Girl

One of the many funny things about Bridget: she gets grossed out easily. She doesn't like piles of crumbs, dirty snow, or hair (unless it is attached to someone's head).

I tried to cut her hair recently, and as soon as she saw the first piece fall, she pointed to it and shouted EWWWW! She was yelling, trying to move away from the falling hair. (It makes for a funny story, but an interesting haircut. At least neither of us was injured in the process.)

A few days later, Bridget reached into her toy bin and once again began yelling EWWWW! I saw her toss something like a hot potato. Was it a bug? An old piece of food that had somehow made its way into her toys? No, it was this camel from her Fisher Price Noah's Ark playset:



I'll admit it, I think it is a little gross, too. But I have to giggle now when I see it sitting on the high-top table in our family room, far from the other toys and definitely out of Bridget's view :).

En Route to Paris!

...our dossier that is :)! We were able to mail it yesterday to Alina's country!

In the package: 32 documents--including our completed homestudy report, verification of employment, proof of home ownership, medical certificates, marriage certificate, copies of our passports, police clearances, Power of Attorney documents (3), 2008 tax return, copies of licenses for professionals who signed our forms and several other petitions and forms--each one notarized, then certified by our county, then certified by the State of Ohio.

In the past two months, it seems like we have not stopped moving. On our way to get our new daughter, every day counts. We can't get to her fast enough.

There have been many days recently when we have truly felt like contestants on The Amazing Race...and I have the best partner.

Chris was in South Carolina yesterday morning and was due home in the afternoon. His flight was delayed--and he had hoped to be home in time to finish a few last certifications and mail our package by the end of the day--so he had a friend drive him 1 1/2 hours to a different airport and caught a flight that would get him home in time (THANK YOU, JOHN!). Chris did not give me details until he was already home, but apparently there was nowhere to stop for gas and their car was on EMPTY for the last 10 miles of the trip. Chris got to the airport just 20 minutes before the flight left, but he made it home. (Alina will never have to wonder if her daddy loved her right from the start. He has done everything he could possibly do, without once questioning or hesitating, to get to her as fast as we can.)

If it were up to us, we would have boarded a plane the day we committed to be Alina's family. But there are plenty of steps in the process that we cannot control.

There have been many people who have helped us along the way, and a few who have unintentionally held us up. There have been things that have gone in our favor, and also some things that have created hurdles. But our paperwork is on the way--finally--and we are thrilled!

As I tried to get a picture of our dossier leaving for Alina's country, Bridget jumped into the picture. She knew that there was a huge flurry of activity and lots of excitement over here yesterday, but she has no idea how the package behind her is going to change her life :)...
Alina, your wait for a family is almost over! We'll be there before you know it :).

A Leap of Faith

Having a child is always a leap of faith. We never really know what the future holds for any of our children, whether they are our biological children or adopted children. We can't plan for future diagnoses, illnesses, accidents, surgeries, and so on. We also can't plan for the untold joys and rewards of knowing, loving or raising any child.

Granted, there are some things we can do to reduce our risk of heartache, but the reality is that we either live in constant fear and uncertainty of the unknown and unwanted, or we can choose to live in peace, understanding that there is good in every person and every circumstance--even when we might not first see it there.

We have not yet met Alina, and we have been asked a few times whether we think this process is worth the risk. Chris and I both feel that she is absolutely worth the risk. We are not just offering Alina a life with a loving family, we are saving her life. We are not concerned about facing uncertainty and don't fear hardship in bringing her into our family. We don't need to know all the details of the future to know that every person has worth and much to offer--and that we are absolutely prepared to care for Alina and to welcome her as our own.

What we do know is that Alina is almost three years old and has Down syndrome. We know she was most likely abandoned because of her diagnosis. We know very little else about her. We have just the one picture we first saw on Reece's Rainbow (RR), where her head has been shaved and her sweet little face shows no expression.

We don't know details about her parents yet, or why they chose to give her up. We don’t know anything about her personality or habits, or what condition we’ll find her in when we arrive in her country in a few months.

We are hoping for the best, but are preparing for every possible scenario.

We know that Alina needs the love, comfort and security of a family. We know that she will need good medical care and good nutrition when she comes home. She will most likely also need extra developmental support.

We know that she should be somewhere where her hair is never again shaved for convenience. We know that she deserves opportunities, and that she should be smiling, and laughing, and safe in the arms of her family.

We realize that we will be meeting Alina in her “raw” form—without having had the benefit of a loving home, early intervention, good nutrition, etc., and that her potential is huge.

We have loved learning about Bridget and getting to experience life through a "different" lens. Her Ds diagnosis means that some things are unique to her because of that diagnosis, but parenting Bridget is very much like raising any of our other children.

When we found RR and saw all of the children who have been abandoned because of a diagnosis of Down syndrome, our hearts broke. We see so much potential in ALL of these children. Knowing what we know now (through Bridget) we see diamonds in the rough in every little face on RR.

We are not expecting that Alina will be just like Bridget. We really have no idea how healthy she will be, what her personality is like, or what she will be able to do. As is true with life in general, there are no guarantees for us in the adoption process.

And while we don't know what we will find when we finally get to meet Alina, we do know that while others may sell her short because she has Down syndrome, we will not. She is a human being with dignity and worth. She deserves to have the same opportunities and care as anyone else--and we plan to offer her the world.

WE ARE APPROVED :)

The fact that I have not updated my adoption timeline (on the sidebar) for a few weeks does not mean that things haven't been happening. It does mean, though, that I have not been able to write about those things. (I'll explain more on that in another post.)

Our big news is that we are very close to being able to mail our dossier to Alina's country. We have received our approval from USCIS (Citizenship and Immigration) to adopt internationally. This means that we are one (giant) step closer to traveling to meet Alina and bring her home :)!!

We will be very busy the next several days getting the appropriate certifications and approvals on the remainder of our documents for our dossier packet to send overseas.

Thank you so much for all of the good wishes and prayers. We are so blessed...

Bridget, Potty Trainer Extraordinaire

This is from an update I wrote on December 9:

We ditched the official potty training way back in the summer. Right after we started, it was clear to me that while Bridget was showing many readiness signs, she was not 100% ready to potty train (mainly because she was not able to give me any notice before she needed to go...so even though she was mostly going in the potty, I never felt safe taking her anywhere in underwear). Being able to go when I asked her to was great, but in my mind, that did not constitute being "potty trained". Sometimes, we'd sit in the bathroom for a half-an-hour before she would go. A few days of that was more than enough for both of us, so I decided she was getting ready to train, but was not quite there. And there was really no hurry, other than some arbitrary timeline I'd set to potty train her by the age of three. I decided I'd assess as we go, and begin again when she was able to tell us consistently when she needed to go (and after she'd adjusted to preschool). She has made strides in all areas this past few months. Now it is a matter of me getting serious about it again. When I am able to be consistent and focus on potty training for at least a week, we'll begin again. I am not in a rush, though. It will happen sometime soon :).

...Bridget is now completely "schedule" trained! She goes whenever we put her on the potty and often (but not always) tells us before she needs to go. (This is a modified system from what we have done with our older children, but it is working for us!)

She is extremely proud of herself, too. She shouts, Yea, PEE! Yea, POOP! Job!! (Good Job!)

I can't use the restroom myself without flushing and thinking, Yea, PEE :)!

I got a much needed push from a wonderful, wise woman (a developmental specialist) who sees Bridget each week on Fridays. Her name is Joanne, but Bridget calls her "JoJo"....and JoJo told mommy that Bridget should be wearing underwear :). She thought Bridget was fully capable and ready, which I also knew.

In her vast experience (she has been working with children with Down syndrome for over 30 years), she says most kids with Ds "schedule" train for 6 months to a year before they begin telling caregivers consistently when they need to go. She said not to let that be a deterrent in expecting Bridget to use the potty and that we could miss a window of opportunity. So we went for it!

With our older children, I firmly believed that pull-ups were only for bed once they started training (I didn't want to confuse them). But all parents know that the start of potty training can be deadly--particularly when you need to go somewhere. Accidents don't benefit anyone, I've always thought. I try to ensure best-odds potty training, always.

With Bridget, it just so happens that she stays completely dry if I put her on the potty first thing in the morning, when she gets home from morning preschool, before her nap, after her nap and once in the evening, before bed. I have been puting her in a pull-up for school, but the classroom aides have agreed to put her on the potty at school and she is coming home dry each day :). Such a big girl!

I had hedged on doing things differently than what we've always done with potty training. Now I am wondering why I didn't just go with the flow and do things how it was best for Bridget right from the start. My youngest daughter continues to teach me how to let go and embrace whatever is, beyond my own notion of the way things should be.

Today, I put Bridget down for her nap in a pull-up with underwear over it. I turned around to see her take them both off, shake the pull-up out of the underwear and put just the underwear back on. Seems she has some ideas of her own...

Sarah Palin...

...You have an incredible opportunity to change things for the better, to tell the world that people with Down syndrome are worth fighting for, and that the "R" word is completely unacceptable for use by anyone, anymore.

Calling out Rahm Emanuel, for his use of the word, was expected. But the pitbull's lipstick prints on Rush Limbaugh's buns were unmistakably yours. A maverick would not have let him get away with using the "R" word, even if setting him straight caused some political discomfort.

If it is tough to answer questions from reporters about Trig, parenting a child with special needs, or about Down syndrome in general, get a mantra. Have a "statement" in your back pocket--hopefully one you have thought about carefully and believe with all your heart--to pull out when the topic is discussed. "All people with Down syndrome have worth and potential, just like everyone else" is one (completely non-partisan) possibility.

You are in the national spotlight. When the chance presents itself again, use that spotlight to help others understand the worth and potential of Trig, and of others with Ds. There are a whole lot of us out here advocating for people and families living with special needs, but we don't have millions waiting to hear what we have to say. You, though, have a unique opportunity to bring awareness to the masses. Use your voice for good.

***

To retard, historically, means "to slow, hold back, prevent or delay".

Mentally Retarded is a medical term which means "cognitively or intellectually delayed".

Retarded, in the medical world, has traditionally meant: "Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed" or "slow in mental or emotional or physical development". But even the medical community is becoming much more sensitive to the derogatory usage of the term and is shifting to use cognitively delayed instead of mentally retarded because of the term's negative and hurtful connotations.

Today, the slang use of the words retarded and retard, are inappropriate and offensive--in any context. They are words used to demean, hurt and diminish, and are meant to suggest that something--or someone--is backwards, stupid, ridiculous, annoying, or worthless.

The Oz Squad is a group of active bloggers dedicated to Down syndrome education and advocacy. Please visit the Oz Squad blog/Open Letter to Sarah Palin post, which asks her to take a stand against the use of the "R"word, even in satire. Please read and leave a comment to stand with us in support of all people with Down syndrome.

Sarah Palin...

...You have an incredible opportunity to change things for the better, to tell the world that people with Down syndrome are worth fighting for, and that the "R" word is completely unacceptable for use by anyone, anymore.

Calling out Rahm Emanuel, for his use of the word, was expected. But the pitbull's lipstick prints on Rush Limbaugh's buns were unmistakably yours. A maverick would not have let him get away with using the "R" word, even if setting him straight caused some political discomfort.

If it is tough to answer questions from reporters about Trig, parenting a child with special needs, or about Down syndrome in general, get a mantra. Have a "statement" in your back pocket--hopefully one you have thought about carefully and believe with all your heart--to pull out when the topic is discussed. "All people with Down syndrome have worth and potential, just like everyone else" is one (completely non-partisan) possibility.

You are in the national spotlight. When the chance presents itself again, use that spotlight to help others understand the worth and potential of Trig, and of others with Ds. There are a whole lot of us out here advocating for people and families living with special needs, but we don't have millions waiting to hear what we have to say. You, though, have a unique opportunity to bring awareness to the masses. Use your voice for good.

***

To retard, historically, means "to slow, hold back, prevent or delay".

Mentally Retarded is a medical term which means "cognitively or intellectually delayed".

Retarded, in the medical world, has traditionally meant: "Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed" or "slow in mental or emotional or physical development". But even the medical community is becoming much more sensitive to the derogatory usage of the term and is shifting to use cognitively delayed instead of mentally retarded because of the term's negative and hurtful connotations.

Today, the slang use of the words retarded and retard, are inappropriate and offensive--in any context. They are words used to demean, hurt and diminish, and are meant to suggest that something--or someone--is backwards, stupid, ridiculous, annoying, or worthless.

The Oz Squad is a group of active bloggers dedicated to Down syndrome education and advocacy. Please visit the Oz Squad blog/Open Letter to Sarah Palin post, which asks her to take a stand against the use of the "R"word, even in satire. Please read and leave a comment to stand with us in support of all people with Down syndrome.

Heroes Among Us

Reece's Rainbow founder Andrea Roberts will be featured in this week's People Magazine, in a section called "Heroes Among Us". The edition will be available Friday, February 19th. This is a wonderful opportunity for others to learn about Andrea and all she is doing through Reece's Rainbow--and to get the word out about the plight of orphans with special needs in Eastern Europe. Please check it out!

Heroes Among Us

Reece's Rainbow founder Andrea Roberts will be featured in this week's People Magazine, in a section called "Heroes Among Us". The edition will be available Friday, February 19th. This is a wonderful opportunity for others to learn about Andrea and all she is doing through Reece's Rainbow--and to get the word out about the plight of orphans with special needs in Eastern Europe. Please check it out!

Heroes Among Us

Reece's Rainbow founder Andrea Roberts will be featured in this week's People Magazine, in a section called "Heroes Among Us". The edition will be available Friday, February 19th. This is a wonderful opportunity for others to learn about Andrea and all she is doing through Reece's Rainbow--and to get the word out about the plight of orphans with special needs in Eastern Europe. Please check it out!

Where There is Light, There is Love

***

And where there is darkness, there is also light.

There need only be a tiny sliver of an opening

for the light to enter and envelop all in its path.

***

Bridget, Big Sister

Like much of the rest of the country, our kids have been off school for several days due to all the snow. Add birthdays, Valentines, playdates, housework, real work and adoption paperwork...and there has been little time for blogging :). I have lots to say and share, though. I am going to try and post more early in the morning, when it is quiet around here.

Miss Bridget has been hilarious recently. She is doing so well with school and speech and potty training. I will try to do an update post on her development sometime this weekend and share a few funny stories.

For now, though, just a quick look into life in our household...

I was folding laundry yesterday afternoon and Bridget was on our bed eating a cracker (on daddy's side, of course). She took two crackers--one in each hand--and offered one to the computer screen, "Here. You." (it's for you). When I looked over, Bridget was holding the cracker to Alina's mouth :).

This is Alina on the computer screen--her little picture is all over our house--and Bridget, taking a break from Max & Ruby, to talk to her new little sister (and share a cracker):

Bridget, Big Sister

Like much of the rest of the country, our kids have been off school for several days due to all the snow. Add birthdays, Valentines, playdates, housework, real work and adoption paperwork...and there has been little time for blogging :). I have lots to say and share, though. I am going to try and post more early in the morning, when it is quiet around here.

Miss Bridget has been hilarious recently. She is doing so well with school and speech and potty training. I will try to do an update post on her development sometime this weekend and share a few funny stories.

For now, though, just a quick look into life in our household...

I was folding laundry yesterday afternoon and Bridget was on our bed eating a cracker (on daddy's side, of course). She took two crackers--one in each hand--and offered one to the computer screen, "Here. You." (it's for you). When I looked over, Bridget was holding the cracker to Alina's mouth :).

This is Alina on the computer screen--her little picture is all over our house--and Bridget, taking a break from Max & Ruby, to talk to her new little sister (and share a cracker):

Take My Hand--Isle of Capri

Isle of Capri
(For Kelle and Nella)

Take my hand
the both of you
There is something
I want you to see

There is a little girl dancing
with her big sister
and her momma and her daddy
on Isle of Capri

See the light
coming from over there
in the distance?
It is not the sun

There is a family whose love
has opened many hearts
and minds, whose light shines
so others may see

The littlest one dances
her feet in the sand
her heart soaring above
(Their hearts soaring above)

For they know the secret to happiness
That beauty is within
and that Love dissolves fear
(Love is big: there is nothing to fear)

There is no other way
This is the life meant for them
so they live it, fulfilled
knowing that they are blessed

They have learned
that each moment is precious
that each human is precious
and that neither should be taken for granted

They dance because they are the lucky ones
and because they know
that each unique footprint in the sand
is the mark of Goodness

***

This is your life. Grab it. Love it. Roll in it. Own it. Be grateful for it.

You sparkle, and we're all a little better for knowing you.


**This post was written for a family with a new Ds diagnosis. Follow the links in the title above to visit their blog and to read the incredibly moving birth story of Nella Cordelia.