I Wish I Would Have Known

...how quickly I'd come to see Bridget as perfect, and the rest of the world as a little flawed.

Right after Bridget was born, there was a sense of concern and uncertainty about her future (see "Living in the Light" on the sidebar to the right for more on this) that seemed to hover around us even though we were trying desperately to find our way out of it. Acquaintances were sad for us. Family and friends were supportive and kind, but you could just feel the elephant in the room. I understand now that the heaviness was the unknown.

Health concerns aside, it kills me that there was any sadness surrounding Bridget. We couldn't have known anything different, but I wish we would have. I wish we would have been able to see that we would all be more than fine, and that Bridget would thrive. As time has passed, and as Bridget has grown, we have come to see that there was no reason to be sad or scared.

I write now almost with a sense of rebellion. I keep thinking, Is this what all the fuss was about?

I wish we could have known--could have seen into the future--how things would be today...that we would feel as though we could not live without this child; that she brightens our every day and brings meaning to our lives in ways we could never have imagined.

Far from the images we envisioned the day she was born, we’ve come to know Bridget as a healthy and expressive little girl who is reaching milestones on her own terms. She does not give up on anything, and we delight in her tenacity and determination.

Just look at this picture. You can't look at Bridget and be sad. She does not see herself as challenged. She is just a kid--being, and doing. Like everyone else, Bridget has her own set of skills and challenges. Like everyone else, she's also full of layers--full of dimension--and potential.

Thank you, Bridgey, for all you bring to our lives. I look forward to every day we get to spend together! Happy Valentine's Day, my beautiful little girl...